Thinness as ideal beauty has been on the American scene for a long time.  Girls have been pressured for years to be very thin.  I know people who let their morning weigh-in determine whether they have a good day or not.  Our identity is so often wrapped up in how skinny we are.  In a culture with so many eating disorders and so much pressure to look a certain way, how can we help our girls to have a healthy body image?  I have more questions than answers.  But with 3 duaghters, I think about this a lot.

Beautiful women weren’t historically portrayed as super-thin.  This painting is by Mary Cassatt.

And Rubens, of course, is known for his substantial beauties.

But even in American culture, the pressure has mounted.  Here’s Doris Day…

Eva Gabor…Slender but not skinny…

Sophia Loren.  Wow!  What a beauty!  But she’s pretty heavy by today’s standards.

And of course, Marilyn Monroe.  She wouldn’t get a second look today.  Instead of being a sex symbol, she’d be selling Nutrisystem with Kirstey Alley.

By contrast, today’s fashion magazines that our girls read tell us that they should look like this.

This.

And this…This girl should be the poster child for anorexia, not working as a model in the “beauty” industry.

Most celebrities are skinnier than celebrities used to be.  Look how tiny Kelly Ripa is.

Even Jennifer Garner, one of my favorite ever actresses…How adorable is she?  But is this degree of thinness realistic or even desirable for most people?

When celebs put on a few pounds, our culture views them as fat.  Back to what our girls see as “ideal”.  Tyra Banks is a Victoria’s Secret supermodel.  That’s what our culture values as beautiful.  So when she gains 30 pounds, she’s considered “fat.”

Does Jessica Simpson look fat to you?  Me either.  But the media had a field day with her weight gain.   They scream in our daughters’ ears that if you weigh this much you are fat.  And ugly.  Doesn’t that break your heart?

As much as I disagree with her beliefs, I think Oprah Winfrey is a great example of someone who is confident and beautiful without  having to be a size 0.  Isn’t she pretty?

I wonder, as moms, how we can help our daughters.  Certainly we want them to be healthy.  Obesity isn’t good for anyone.  And whether we like it or not, we are influenced by our culture to some degree.  There is a weight where we all feel pretty–we just want to make sure that, for our girls, it’s not unrealistic and that they don’t base their self-worth on that.  They need to know that they are beautiful even if they aren’t at their “perfect” weight.  And for younger girls, it shouldn’t even be on their radar (although it probably is because they hear so much about it, no matter how sheltered they are.)

I hear that we as moms should be good role models.  Do we constantly fuss about our weight, check ourselves in the mirror, smooth our tummies, and talk about our thinness or lack thereof?  Do our little girls grow up believing that they are less if they weigh more?  Do we tell them they are beautiful no matter what, and then sabotage that message by our intense, vocal dissatisfaction with ourselves?  It does no good to try to shelter our daughters from society’s lies if we believe them ourselves.

I hear that we should simply focus on healthful eating and make sure our kids are active.  I’m a low-energy person, especially after having 5 kids in 10 years.  But one of my goals is to be active with my kids, to play sports with them and just have good physical fun.  I want my children to see me making good choices.  I fail at this a lot.  But I hope that most of the time I’m able to pick myself back up without too much drama and make better choices the next time.

So, like I said, these are the things I hear and the things I hope to do–but I have more questions than answers. 

So I really, really want to hear from YOU!  Tell me what you do to help your daughters be healthy and secure with a healthy body image!

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